It is so hard to leave..

It is so hard to leave – until you leave. And then it’s the easiest goddamned thing in the world.

(John Green)

All my life I wanted to spend my gap year after high school abroad.

Go away from the rat race at home, feel the freedom, be independent.

I decided to go to Brighton for five months to have the best time of my life. I knew it would be the best time ever because my elder sister had been to England several years ago and was just elated afterwards, I was sure with me it would not be different.

To prepare my trip in the best way possible I had worked for half a year as a waitress so my parents would not need to pay the whole amount of money. And on the other hand I did not want to take care about the money all the time, I just wanted to enjoy my life as far as possible. 

Some month before I went to England I booked the flight, the school and a host family.

Some days before I bought all the things I would need there and packed my suitcase.

And some hours before I just felt tense, excited and extremely nervous.

I had no idea what was going to wait for me and even if I was really looking forward to this day I just felt a bit afraid and sad to leave.

Nevertheless I was really happy I could leave my home, some things changed, my home changed, even I changed and I was ready to take a new step towards a new life.

Suddenly this day was here. This day I dreamed about for years.

And I knew this was going to change my life.

And it did.

My family took me to the train station and we all had to cry, it was horrible. But then I waved goodbye and suddenly it took a load off my mind and when the train was leaving I just smiled.

I felt liberated, ready for a new beginning.

After a few hours by train, airplane, taxi I arrived in my new house and I was welcomed with open arms. And there it was, my new life, in Brighton.