Ich fühle Mut, mich in die Welt zu wagen!

Mein halbes Leben warte ich schon auf diesen Moment.
Einfach weggehen.
Für ein halbes Jahr.
Auf und davon.
Abschiedstränen und Kummer.
Riesige Vorfreude und nervöses Kribbeln.
Ich werde für 5 Monate in Brighton, England sein.
Neues Land, neue Familie, neue Schule.
Und die Nervosität steigt mit dem Gewicht des Koffers.
Morgen ist es soweit.

Nie war mehr Anfang als jetzt.

Leave the past behind...

...and smile for what is here now.

 

Was mich bewegt

Man muss den Dingen
die eigene, stille,
ungestörte Entwicklung lassen,
die tief von innen kommt,
und durch nichts gedrängt
oder beschleunigt werden kann;
alles ist austragen -
und dann
gebären ...

Reifen wie der Baum, der seine Säfte nicht drängt
und getrost in den Stürmen
des Frühlings steht ,
ohne Angst,
dass dahinter kein Sommer
kommen könnte.
Er kommt doch!

Aber er kommt nur zu den Geduldigen
die da sind,
als ob die Ewigkeit vor ihnen läge,
so sorglos still und weit ...

Man muss Geduld haben,
gegen das Ungelöste im Herzen,
und versuchen, die Fragen selber lieb zu haben,
wie verschlossene Stuben,
und wie Bücher, die in einer sehr fremden Sprache
geschrieben sind.

Es handelt sich darum, alles zu leben.
Wenn man die Fragen lebt,
lebt man vielleicht allmählich,
ohne es zu merken,
eines fremden Tages
in die Antwort hinein.


(Rainer Maria Rilke)

it's my birthday!

I want you.

so it's not gonna be easy. it's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but i want to do that because i want you. i want all of you, forever, everyday. you and me.. everyday.

there's no reason for you to hide

Remember when...

Remember when getting high meant swinging in the playground?
When protection meant wearing a helmet?
When the worst things you could get from boys were cooties?
When Dad's shoulders were the highest place on earth and Mum was your hero?
Your worst enemies were your siblings?
Race issues were about who ran the fastest?
War was only a card game?
The only drug you knew was cough medicine?
And wearing a skirt didn't make you a whore?
The only things that hurt you were skinned knees?
Goodbyes only meant until tomorrow?
The only drama you knew of was Romeo and Juliet?
The only thing you could cheat in was games, and players were only for sports, not relationships?
The only curse word you knew was "shut up"?
The only way we could change was with clothes and not ourselves?
Yet we absolutely couldn't wait to grow up and now growing up is our worst fear.
It's funny how hello is always accompanied by goodbye.
It's funny how good memories can make you start to cry.
It's funny how forever never seems to really last.
It's funny how much you'd lose if you forgot about your past.
It's funny how friends can just leave you when you're down.
It's funny how when you need someone they're never around.
It's funny how people change and think they're so much better.
It's funny how so many lies can be packed in one love-letter.
It's funny how people forgive even though they can't forget.
It's funny how one night can contain so much regret.
It's funny how ironic life turns out to be.
But the funniest part of it all, is that none of it's funny to me.
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no-one but yourself and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
And there comes a point in your life when you realise who matters, who never did, who won't anymore and who always will.
So don't worry about the people from your past, there's a reason they didn't make it to your future.

2 weeks to go!

In 2 Wochen beginnt mein neues Leben.
Alles neu. 5 Monate Brighton.
Brighton's gonna brighten up my life.
Weg von allem - alles weg von mir.
Ich weiss nicht, ob es besser wird, wenn es anders wird.
Aber es muss anders werden, wenn es besser werden soll.
Ich bleibe dieselbe Person, aber alles um mich herum verändert sich.
Werde auch ich mich verändern?
Nur wer Veränderungen akzeptiert, kann auch wachsen.
Ich sehne die Veränderung herbei, und trotzdem werde ich vieles vermissen.
Schöne Stunden voller Liebe, im Arm gehalten zu werden, die Vertrautheit geniessen.
Es kommt wie's kommen muss.
Und das wird gut.

Allen Veränderungen, selbst jenen, die wir ersehnt haben, haftet etwas Melancholisches an, denn wir lassen einen Teil von uns selbst zurück. Wir müssen ein Leben sterben, ehe wir ein anderes beginnen können. 

one in a million

there are a million reasons to love me

and there are a million reasons to hate me.

pick one.

and I will always think of you as someone that I love..

Life is worth it.

sometimes I love a song so much I just want to crawl inside it and live

Impossible is nothing.

Unmöglich ist ein Wort, mit dem Menschen um sich werfen, für die es einfacher ist, die Welt so zu akzeptieren, wie sie ist, statt das Risiko einzugehen, sie zu verändern.
Unmöglich ist keine Tatsache.
Es ist eine Meinung.
Unmöglich ist keine Feststellung.
Es ist eine Herausforderung.
Unmöglich ist Potenzial.
Unmöglich ist vergänglich.

Impossible is nothing.

Please let this be the year I've waited for.

Looking out for you to hold my hand

It's complicated, it always is
that's just the way it goes

feels like I've waited so long for this
I wonder if it shows

when love takes over
you know you can't deny
when love takes over
cause something's here tonight
so you feel it too?

looking out for you to hold my hand
it feels like I could fall
now love me right
like I know you can

and I will be loving you all the time
cause I wanna make it right with you

it's just the way you move. the way you move me.

Love me, love me, say that you love me

So say you love me

or

say you need me

don't let the silence

do the talking.

Hope

We've got our deepest hopes tattooed on our eyelids, so when we sleep we speak fireworks.

You’re everything I thought you never were

And nothing like I thought you could’ve been
But still you live inside of me
So tell me how is that?

You’re the only one I wish I could forget
The only one I’d love enough to not forgive

Something that I feel I need to say
But up to now I’ve always been afraid
That you would never come around
And still I want to put this out
You say you’ve got the most respect for me
But sometimes I feel you’re not deserving me
And still you’re in my heart

 

But I don’t complain
Cause I’ve been afraid that you would've walk away
Oh but now I don’t hate you
I’m happy to say
That I will be there at the end of the day

Now I’m at a place I thought I’d never be

I’m living in a world that’s all about you and me

Ain't gotta be afraid my broken heart is free
To spread my wings and fly away
Away With you

Merry Christmas!